Panic

Lab accidents resulting in monstrous, murderous scientists ravaging the city abound, but few are as dull as the telling of such a story in Panic. I guess the point is supposed to be an increasing panic starting with an accident that seems easily containable, gets slightly out of control as the monster starts killing, and becomes full-blown panic when the military decides to quarantine the town to await cleansing by missile fire.

The movie centers around a detective that wants to do his job, a lab assistant who’s not sure what she should do other than helping the infected doctor, and the doctor’s boss who wants to cover up the whole thing quietly and only changes his tune when he learns his family’s safety is at stake.

Where does the movie go wrong? Pick an aspect. There are huge jumps in logic. Example: after finding one bloody body which he doesn’t examine the detective suddenly realizes that all the recent killings are tied to the lab accident and the doctor.

There are also jumps in motivation. It seems to me that it would take a whole lot more convincing than this to get the military to consider wiping out an entire town. “We need to nuke a town.” “We can't do that!” “But, sir, there is a monster killing people.” “OK, then, send the bombs!”

Other times actions don’t make sense. How about the girl in the theater? There’s a monster tearing the place apart, and everybody else has long since fled in screaming terror yet she calmly keeps her seat? Or how about the guy that thinks a handgun is going to put the monster down when a shotgun barely phased it? Maybe it’s just me, but if a monster is trying to rip me apart and several shots to his body haven’t so much as slowed him down, I might try a few shots to the face or give up shooting him, but I'm not going to swap to a lower powered weapon and expect to win.

The acting is terrible. Half the time I was looking in the background to see if any cue cards were accidentally filmed. I didn't notice any, but I could have sworn a couple of those “actors” were cardboard cutouts.

MORALITY:

While the violence is campy there is plenty of it with copious amounts of blood.

There are a couple of revealing shots that don’t quite cross the line to nudity but come close. Both involve violence and one also involves sex.

I didn’t notice a single use of strong language in the whole movie.

SPIRITUALITY:

Mad scientists devolving into lizard monsters are... oh, nevermind.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I can’t recommend this movie at all unless you want to see something so bad it's amusing.

#Panic