1) Pilot
That’s a more fitting title than most pilot episodes since this one deals with airplanes. When Byers’ father dies a family friend suggests it was no accident. The trio begins their investigation. What they uncover is a plot to hijack (so to speak) an airliner and ram it into the World Trade Center.
-For those thinking that this is capitalizing on the 9/11 attacks keep in mind that this came first. It seems like the writing is going to be too simple at first with the clues falling right into Byers’ lap, but it plays out better than the first act suggests it will. The drama early on is weak, but by the end of the episode I was on the edge of my seat. It’s a different tone than the rest of the series with more tension and less comedy, but my opinion is that it’s outstanding.
2) Bond Jimmy Bond
In an unusual Matrix parody (one of the few that don’t grate on my nerves since Matrix references have been done to death) the trio attempts to stop a whaler with smoke and mirrors. Unfortunately the show drains their coffers making them desperate for money. Yves puts them onto a story involving a dead hacker. While investigating they meet Jimmy Bond who will later become part of the team and a much better addition to the permanent cast than you might expect upon first meeting him. Langly ends up kidnapped for his hacking skills, and the others rush to save him while trying to thwart a plot to kill countless people with gas.
-This one is a really great and funny episode although the barf joke is counted by some to be their least favorite moment of the series.
3) Eine Kleine Frohike
A woman notorious for poisoning important men in WWII is looking for her lost son. Frohike bears a resemblance so, under much protest, he infiltrates her home to find proof of who she is. However, the people wanting that proof may have hidden agendas.
-The pacing of this one is slower than any other, but there are some greatly funny moments.
4) Like Water For Octane
Byers stumbles across a report about an inventor that developed a water-powered car. Convinced it’s still out there the guys go on a treasure hunt.
-For some reason when people talk about The Lone Gunmen this is the episode they most commonly remember. I think it was because the show had generated some interest by this time, and people had actually started watching. Unfortunately it was soon if not immediately after this one that it was regularly preempted or moved so it was likely the last one many people saw. As much as I enjoyed the show, I saw at most one or two more episodes before it became impossible to find.
5) 3 Men & a Smoking Diaper
The Gunmen are trying to prove a senator running for reelection killed a woman to cover up an illicit affair. They end up babysitting his illegitimate child. Jimmy joins the campaign to find evidence, and they see sides of the senator they didn’t expect.
6) Madam I’m Adam
When a man finds strange people in his bed he’s convinced he’s from an alternate reality. He begs the Gunmen to help him get to his real home. They’re ready to dismiss him until they find some strange technology embedded in him. When he starts having seizures the guys finally start finding clues to his past.
-This is the weakest episode. Midget wrestlers having affairs with 1 eyed men is more suited for Jerry Springer than this show. The technology aspect of it is interesting, but it crosses the line into being overly ridiculous.
7) Planet Of The Frohikes
When a lab monkey starts typing coherent sentences a scientist takes excited notice, but the animal manages to conceal his intelligence long enough to contact the Gunmen in an attempt to get them to spring him. Soon the guys stumble across secrets of government animal testing sensitive enough to land them in federal prison.
-The plot is a little convoluted and, though still enjoyable, is one of the weaker episodes.
8) Maximum Byers
The Gunmen end up rocking the jailhouse when they break INTO a prison to help a supposedly innocent man. Things do not go as planned.
-The best part about this episode is that they do not take themselves too seriously. In fact, they poke fun by saying this is the kind of plot shows use when they run out of good ideas. It’s a good story with some great moments.
9) Diagnosis Jimmy
Committed to getting images of poachers selling grizzly gall bladders Jimmy skies into a tree which lands him in the hospital. While the guys continue to search for evidence Jimmy is laid up with a nurse coming on to him like a drunken prom date and a murderous doctor lurking about.
-This is perhaps one of my favorites. It has a great double plot with just the right mixture of tension and comedy.
10) Tango De Los Pistoleros
The Gunmen discover a deadly smuggling plot. The only way to get close to the villain is through a tango competition. That’s not difficult for the beautiful and graceful Yves, but the boys have a tougher time.
-This is an artistic episode with some of the more touching moments of the show. Yves starts becoming more like a real character than a convenient plot device.
11) The Lying Game
A.D. Skinner attacks nosy Jeff in a bathroom. The guy ends up dead and his body accidentally cremated. As a former friend of Jeff and his sister, Byers gets the Gunmen involved intent on bringing the assistant director of the FBI to justice, but when they find evidence implicating Skinner Byers’ refuses to run with it. What follows is the Gunmen making a huge mess of a sticky situation.
-Mitch Pileggi guest stars. I like the involvement of Skinner in this one. There’s a real mystery here (though if you really think about it you can probably figure it out).
12) The Cap’n Toby Show
The Gunmen set out on the trail of a killer, the victims of whom worked on Langly’s favorite childhood TV show. Government secrets are being sold to China through the show, and the Gunmen must prove the kids’ show host innocent or guilty.
-I enjoyed the plot of this one a good bit. With several strong episodes preceding it, I felt like the show had hit its stride and would have delivered more great episodes if given the chance. Instead it’s about to wind down.
13) All About Yves
The Gunmen shake down Morris Fletcher (from the X Files "Dreamland" episodes) on a tip. When they decide to trace the source of the tip they uncover an enormous government-sanctioned plot of terrorism. Yves is their only link, and they begin the arduous task of cracking the secrets of her life. The more of the conspiracy they discover, the more convoluted it gets.
-The writing on this one is tremendous. The weaving of the conspiracy with its twists and turns is the best of any of the 13 episodes. It’s not as comical as the others which kind of balances out the ones that were too silly. It ends on a to-be-continued note that really left me wanting more. I can’t believe Fox refused to let them finish the story. Thank goodness they were able to do so in the X Files, but it would have been better if they could have done so within the Lone Gunmen series.
-Michael McKean plays Fletcher, of course. Mulder makes a cameo that will give X Philes a chuckle.
X Files: Jump The Shark
It’s been a year (both in real time since the airing of the last Lone Gunmen episode and in the story). Fletcher, no longer working for the government, is attacked and turns to the FBI. He convinces them of the need to hunt down Yves who has been missing for the past year. They suspect her of being a super soldier (you will need to know a little about what has happened in the X Files as well as the Lone Gunmen) who must stopped. Who knows more about her than the Lone Gunmen? The group is a shadow of themselves before tangling with Fletcher a year ago. Jimmy has disappeared, and the original trio has tapped their resources to the breaking point. Weary and ready to strap Fletcher to a rocket pointed at the sun the guys agree to help Doggett for the sake of Yves.
-As I said, another Lone Gunmen episode would have completed the story better. The gap leaves some questions about Fletcher’s intentions and actions immediately after the final series episode, but by and large this is a complete wrap-up of the storyline. It’s a mixture of styles from the two shows with little to none of the Gunmen’s trademark humor and plenty of brooding atmosphere. The regular X Files cast minus Mulder is joined by all 5 Lone Gunmen regulars plus Michael McKean as Fletcher.